Here Without You
by MistressofthePen1987
Summary: He let her go to be with the one he loves, right? If that's the case, why does he spend his days drinking her memory away? Song fic. Rated T for drinking and other such good stuff. Don't own the song. ONESHOT -


**Whoah, two fics in two days. DAMN MAN SOMEBODY STOP MEH! So here it is, this one came to me as I was day dreaming while listnening to the song "Here Without You" by Three Doors Down. Fook Yeh!**

**Disclaimer: Rumiko, you will be mine. Oh yes, you will be mine. But until then she owns this stuff:(**

**Oh, and *blows on haronica for tune* I don't own Here Without You lalala, it belongs to 3DD lalalala**

**R&R**

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_Standing in a semi-circle before the Bone Eater's well, a band of friends bid their final goodbyes._

_The slayer Sango is first, approaching the departee with a finely woven kimono in her arms, "It was my best friend's, before my village was destroyed. I want you to know that over the years together, that's what you've become to me…the first one was hard enough to loose, but you…" the slayer could keep her composure no longer and dashed over to her friend in a fit of tears. She embraced the girl sobbing into her shoulders. The girl soothed Sango's hair, assuring her that the time and distance would never erase all the good times they had._

_Sango's husband Miroku was the next to bid his farewell, he gave the girl a kiss on the cheek- much to the hanyou behind him's hidden dismay, "I wish these days never ended. Sometimes even that Naraku was still alive so we'd all be together," he whispered. The girl had a bit of trouble hearing these words, but had adamantly swore she wouldn't allow herself to cry._

_Miroku looked down and began the process of prying a bawling kitsune from her hands._

_"No! No DON'T GO! PLEASE!" he screamed, clinging to the girl's white shirt tightly. The girl kissed the top of Shippou's red head, "I have to go," she explained. The boy shook his head, "NO YOU DON'T" he then turned to the mute hanyou behind him, "TELL HER TO STAY INUYASHA! YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN, TELL HER!"_

_Inuyasha, who had been silent all day up to this point looked straight into Kagome's sapphire eyes. From behind him, Kikyo stood silent and reverent, her icy blue eyes also penetrating those of her next life._

_Kagome spoke before he had a chance to. While she was never the type to sugar coat things, a deep seeded fear in her heart didn't want to know what he would have said at that moment, "Shippou, this isn't my place." She saw Inuyasha wince at her words, "My purpose here is complete, now it's time to resume my life on the other side of the well,"_

_Shippo reluctantly released her as she turned to the congregation, "I want to thank you all for the time I spent here. For your friendship, your trust…your love. While it breaks my heart to have to leave, I understand that we all must carry on with the lives interrupted by Naraku. I'll never forget you, ever."_

_Inuyasha watched as Kagome turned, he could smell the tears on her face and could hear the anguish in her heart like a shattered melody, but his feet stayed cemented to the ground next to Kikyo. His first and only love._

**2 years later.**

A figure leaned against the very three that held him captive for 50 years, though the ample shade of the ancient plant concealed the finer details of his face. One could clearly see it was haggard and unkempt, like it's owner left it to the elements. With a deep exhale and a ragged cough he shifted, bringing the half-empty bottle of sake to his lips and praying another swig would take her memory.

2 years ago he had morals, standards. Two years ago he would look at his current self and cringe with disgust. He hated sake back then, and even now still hated sake, but it was the only thing that could help him at this point. Help him forget her.

**_A hundred days have made me older_**

**_Since the last time that I saw your pretty face_**

He bit back a cough as the burning alcohol singed his throat, sniffing through his clogged nose. For a minute he allowed the daunting reality that surrounded him to wake him up as he pondered something, 'Wonder if Kikyo's looking for me?' he jaggedly inhaled for her scent, but eachone that belonged to her had grown old; far more than a week or so.

She knew he came here every day and would occasionally, for the sake of what they had, pull his drunken body back to the village. Though right off the bat he could feel it, a part of him wanted to believe she did it out of love, but there had never been that feeling, that air. There were times when Kikyo would undress him, clean him up and tuck him in to sleep it off, but that kind of treatment quickly ceased. Inuyasha knew why too, not because she was tired of doing it; the old Kikyo would have gone through the daily task of putting Inuyasha up for a century. No. This was because she realized that she was no longer the kind of person to allow someone to completely depend on her. Though she was once again a part of the living world, a maiden whose heart had been returned to her, her personality in that time as a- for lack of a better term- golem had forever been altered. Kikyo was more self-sufficient, associating herself with driven people, and while that new found strength is a good thing, it also meant that she didn't share her feelings the way she used to. It reminded Inuyasha of an insurmountable wall, strong and steady.

Inuyasha hated (I mean REALLY HATED) to admit it, but the modern Kikyo would better be suited for someone like Naraku.

So was Kikyo looking for him? He laughed, sliding back into his intoxicated stupor like a warm blanket, 'Probably not…'

**_A thousand lies have made me colder_**

**_And I don't think I can look at this the same_**

He stopped believing that he was doing the right thing a long time ago. He didn't need to be with Kikyo, he didn't WANT to be with Kikyo. The foolish Inuyasha from two years ago just felt like he owed it to her. It was he who doubted her love and got her killed 53 years ago, it was he who spoke her name and entrapped her in a coffin of clay. He put Kikyo through hell, the least he could do was stay by her side. That reasoning lost it's justification all too fast. It was wrong to offer her a heart he didn't have for the simple task of compensating, compensation was not love, was not happiness.

'Keh, stay by her side…a lot of good that did.' A mere 3 months into their new relationship and they were already complete strangers.

'I had love…true love…and I pissed it all away,'

The image of the face that haunted him day in and day out began to appear. Those sapphire eyes that he broke were staring at him through tears with the power of unrequited love. "No!" the hanyou cried, covering his eyes, he took another swig of the bottle, chasing her off.

**_But all the miles that separate_**

**_They disappear now when I'm dreaming of your face_**

Miroku walked up to him, unlike Kikyo he was more diligent. Ever since he found out Inuyasha was drinking he came out there and talked to him, refusing to believe that his words fell on deaf ears, so like a monk. "Inuyasha…" he murmured, not wanting to surprise a drunk with the strength of a demon. He learned his lesson months ago and had the scars to prove it.

Inuyasha nodded for him to join him. He started with the ceremonious offering of his sake to Miroku who, also ceremoniously rejected it, "Suit yourself," Inuyasha slurred before taking another swig.

Miroku shook his head, "What ever happened to the Inuyasha who beat guys like you up?" he asked. Inuyasha shrugged, "He grew up," his words had a bite to them and he hated it, his heart was trying to push Miroku away.

**_I'm here without you baby_**

**_But you're still on my lonely mind_**

**_I think about you baby_**

**_And I dream about you all the time_**

Miroku had tried every tactic in the book, and nothing seemed to sway Inyasha. He was starting to get desperate. Inuyasha had recently began to vomit blood, at this rate…

Miroku didn't mean to start a fight, but like the road to hell it began with a good intention, "Please Inuyasha, we've lost too much in our lives-,"

"Don't start Miroku," Inuyasha warned.

Miroku tried to re-iterate, "So this is what's best for you? It's killing you Inu! Don't you understand, YOU'LL DIE!"

"Let me then!" Inuyasha roared.

Miroku reached over and grabbed Inuyasha by his collar, shaking hime violently, "And what, huh? Leave us to clean up the mess. It's so fucking easy for you isn't it? Just die, never caring about the feelings of others! NEVER CARING ABOUT THEIR PAIN!"

Inuyasha pushed the monk away from him without controlling his strength. Miroku flew and hit the well a few yards away. Disturbing the dust. Inuyasha stood, but his stance was shaky as the world around him swayed "Ah care! Ah'VE ALWAYSH CARED! You…you jusht don't undershtand!"

Miroku charged him, grabbing the bottle and chucking it against the well he just smashed against, "SHE'S NEVER COMING BACK!" The sound of the bottle exploding followed Miroku's words and hit Inuyasha's ears.

_I'm here without you baby_

**_But you're still_**

**_With me in my dreams_**

**_And tonight_**

**_It's only you and me_**

Miroku stormed off after that, deciding for the 100th time that that was the last time he would help Inuyasha and if he killed himself, then so be it.

Inuyasha stood there, reeling from Miroku's last words. He began to weep, sofly at first, but his cries soon escalated to drunken wails as it hit him. He walked over to the well, leaning over and staring into the dank darkness that had grown dusty from 2 years of neglect.

'She's not coming back…she's not coming back,' His claws scratched the wood as he balled his hands into fists; splinters piercing the under side of his nails and scraping his knuckles, "WHY DIDN'T YOU COME BACK!" he screeched into the well, "WHY DID YOU GIVE UP ON ME! YOU SAID YOU'D NEVER STOP BELIEVING IN ME!" for whatever reason he stood there, waiting for some kind of reply the only thing to answer him was his own crazed echo.

**_The miles just keep rolling_**

**_As the people leave their way to say hello_**

**_I've heard this life is overrated_**

**_But I hope that it gets better as we go_**

Inuyasha was behind the tree, fishing for another bottle when Kikyo showed up. Inuyasha already knew she was there by her scent, 'I guess she decided today was a day to pick me up,' he thought to himself, retrieving a large bottle.

"What are you doing?" she asked. Inuyasha turned to see her standing 10 feet away, her hands were in font of her holding a basket with food in it as the summer wind played with her long raven hair. Her eyes were looking at him and not looking at him all at the same time. For a moment Inuyasha remembered how beautiful he found that look, how beautiful he found her. What happened to that unconditional love?

Inuyasha staggered backwards as a result of drunkenly dividing his attention between staying upright and pulling the cork out of the sake bottle, "Getting drunk off my ass to forget the girl I loved," he belched the last portion of that sentence out.

Kikyo scoffed, "Love your tact, Inuyasha," she said incredulously.

"I don't see too much of a reason in sugar coating it," he was blunt and it angered her. Kikyo set the basket down next to where she was standing and moved to where she was 2 feet away from him. "If you're that unhappy without her why did you let her go?" he wasn't looking directly at Kikyo, more to the side, but out of the peripheral vision of his left eye he could see tears, as distant as they became, he still hated to see her cry. "How could I leave you?" he asked, taking a swig of sake, "Besides, didn't it make you happy to see her go?"

Kikyo opened her mouth, struggling to come up with words to counter his remark, but she had no ground. Inuyasha waited for her to say something. Finally her face fell, she looked down at her feet for a moment, then back up at him, "You're right…it did make me happy." She whispered, "But it doesn't hurt any less to look into the eyes of the man you love and see someone else in his refection."

Inuyasha's eyes widened, she never told him that before. "It also made no sense to me that you were in love with someone who was…me…maybe my next life have you, but subsequently she and I are the same person,"

She watched him shake his head, "But you aren't the same, you share the same soul, but you and she are polar opposites,"

At that moment Kikyo saw something she hadn't seen since the day before Maraku's betrayal, maybe a slight few times afterwards, but never as long or as brilliant as what she was seeing now. His eyes, those amber eyes were shining, far more radiant than a thousand suns, and they were shining for her…for Kagome.

**_I'm here without you baby_**

**_But you're still on my lonely_ _mind_**

**_I think about you baby_**

**_And I dream about you all the time_**

**_I'm here without you baby_**

**_You're still with me in my dreams_**

**_And tonight girl_**

**_It's only you and me_**

"Kagome was more spontaneous, most of the time to a deadly extent. She was brash and clueless, unlike you, who always knew what she wanted and what she was doing. You never knew where Kagome was coming from, but she only and always had everyone's best interest in mind. She always saw the good in everyone, even me, the demon who tried to kill her when I first met her. When you smiled I felt like I was safe from everything I came from…but when she smiles, I forget everything I came from." Inuyasha wasn't looking at Kikyo anymore, he was staring at the well.

Kikyo was however, staring at him. She ran up behind him and threw her arms around his torso clinging to his shirt tightly. Inuyasha wasn't prepared for that, but remained standing and let Kikyo release her emotions. He could feel the back of his shirt getting wet with sobs and cringed, he did it again.

The next thing Inuyasha felt was what felt like a sliver of glass being slipped into his palm, whatever it was it was sharp and one glide along the fragment produced a decent cut on his thumb. He winced and brought the item to his line of sight. Sure enough it was a red sliver of glass almost like a…

"Kikyo…is…is this…" he turned to look at the girl who used to hold his heart. Kikyo shook her head, cringing her teeth to keep from sobbing. Inuyasha grabbed her by the shoulders, "Kikyo!" he said, somewhat shaken by what he was holding in his hand, "Is this a Shikkon shard?"

"No…it's not," she said wiping her eyes, "This fragment...was conjured by Kagome," she said.

Inuyasha's eyes widened, "Kagome made this?" he asked, incapable of believing her. Kikyo nodded, "She…she didn't know she made it. It was at a point of deep battle, when Naraku tried to taint her with his malice, her body began to form what Medoriko did, a jewel in which to trap the evil in case she ever fell victim. Kagome however was able to fight with what powers she had and the jewel layed within her, premature."

Inuyasha didn't understand, "But how did you-?"

"When Naraku nearly killed me and Kagome dove into the waters to purify my wound. Our bodies linked. I too was mistaken at first, thinking it was a shard of the Shikkon No Tama. I took it from her then,"

**_Everything I know_**

**_And anywhere I go_**

**_It gets hard but it won't take away my love_**

"But why didn't Kagome sense it?"

"As I said, it's not a full fledged jewel, a mere shard. Kagome had the full Shikkon no Tama in her and learned what it felt like before she shattered it. This is not a Shikkon no Tama, not yet anyway."

Inuyasha fumbled the shard around his palm, allowing the jagged edges to catch the setting sunlight, "Can I wish on it?" he asked.

Kikyo shook her head, "It doesn't work that way. Only a full Shikkon no Tama has that power, this won't grant your wish, applied to your body or weapon it won't make you anymore powerful, but it does hold…one power," her eyes left the shard to stare into his.

Inuyasha stared back at her, her eyes were still red but behind them a sense of relief layed in the center, "Why are you telling me all of this now?"

"I can't keep you anymore…I tried so hard to because I was so afraid of being alone and because I was so jealous that you were given a shot with her when the time we had was cut short. Your drinking as well has shown me that I'm not what's best for you, but that doesn't mean that I'm not concerned,"

Her voice then changed from one of compassion to one of warning, "I won't guarantee that this is without risk Inuyasha. For one this shard will grant you passage ONE time. Once you pass through, you can never come back. On the other side is yet another risk, as far as we know 2 years have past, 2 years for Kagome to believe you didn't love her and were never coming back, 2 years to let her believe all she could do was move one with her life. She may have someone else, she may even be married. The time within the well has lost it's stability without the Shikkon no tama, you may end up 1000 years in the future, when she is long gone."

Inuyasha's was already at the railing, feet poised at the edge, clawed toes already dangling over the edge. He turned to look at Kikyo one last time, "Thank you for all you've done for me…" he pivoted his leg over the side and dropped in

**_And when the last one falls_**

**_When it's all said and done_**

**_It gets hard but it won't take away my love_**

The world he lived in faded away as he fell into the dimension between worlds. His heart was racing from excitement, fear, and anticipation, but it his mind, risking everything was better than sitting at the well for the rest of his life wondering what if. As long as he knew what happened to Kagome, he would be fine.

Having spent all of it's power on the trip to the future, Inuyasha was left half buried had to pull himself from the damp earth at the bottom of the well. No sooner was he out that a bad feeling came to him. Kagome's scent, that jasmine and lavender smell about her was old, barely clinging to the worn wood and fading ever faster now that a new scent was occupying it.

He looked up, but saw nothing but darkness at the opening. A great leap upwards had him banging his head on the lid that had been nailed over the opening, another bad omen. Thankfully it seemed as though there was a physical seal and had not been accompanied by any kind of spiritual mantra; that would have really been a problem. Unsheathing his trust sword, the hanyou had himself out of there in the time it took to say "Kaze no Kizu". He jumped through the blast and ran up the dusty steps of the well's shed and out into the blinding daylight.

**_I'm here without you baby_**

**_But you're still on my lonely mind_**

**_I think about you baby_**

**_And I dream about you all the time_**

**_I'm here without you baby_**

**_But you're still with me in my dreams_**

**_And tonight girl_**

**_It's only you and me_**

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**So did Inuyasha make it? Was Kagome still there, was she even still alive? Hehehee, I'll let you decide for yourself what happened. Hope you liked the fic. R and R please.**


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